Relief, Frustration, and Pondering

February 25, 2009 at 7:39 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Yesterday my boss came to me to see if I’d be able to work for her for another two weeks. After looking at all of the things she needs to do before she retires, she came to the realization that she’s going to need me there to help her for another two weeks. I was surprised when she said she needed me for two more weeks. I wasn’t really surprised at the fact that she needs me because I could’ve told her that. She’s trying to cram six months to a year’s worth of work and preparation into two weeks and that’s just not possible. But I was surprised that she asked me to continue working for the next few weeks because I had been fully preparing myself to be done there this Friday.

Of course I was relieved to hear that I’ll still have full time hours and income because my new boss still can’t tell me whether I’ll be working full time right away or not. So me working for her for two more weeks gives him a little bit more time to figure out whether he can afford to make me full time or not.

I’m really getting frustrated with my new job because as of right now there’s really nothing for me to work on. So I spend my days mindlessly surfing the internet, seriously that’s my job, the project he has me working on is to surf the internet and find specific sites regarding this new site he’s building.

I know it sounds wonderful to have a job that pays you to surf the internet, not to mention a job that pays you to sit and read your book or check your personal email, but honestly it’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I’d much rather have a job where I’m constantly doing something so that my day would go by quicker. As awesome as it sounds to get paid for doing nothing, it’s quite boring and unsatisfying. Although I am writing this blog right now and getting paid to do it, so that’s a plus! 🙂

I’ve been searching for full time positions, just in case I’m not given full time hours right away and the job market is horrible right now. The positions that are available have so many people applying to them that they have their pick of the litter so to speak. Most places, especially office jobs, aren’t willing to work around a school schedule so I’m not even an option for them.

One lady told me that mine was the best resume she’d seen out of 50+ resumes, but that the position is part time with no potential to become full time and her concern is that I’m so overly qualified already and that once I graduate in May I’ll be seeking a full time job with a lot more room for advancement. Which honestly she’s right about that, but if I found an awesome job now that paid well and was something I really liked to do I’d be in it for the long haul. But I definitely see where she’s coming from.

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Feeling Hopeful Inspite of Everything

February 20, 2009 at 3:32 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

So about a week ago my boss came to me to let me know she’s retiring. This was not all that shocking to me because I’ve seen this coming for awhile. I also have access to her email and have seen the emails she’s been sending back and forth with her business advisor. The irritating part is that she basically told me that I’m not going to have a job in two weeks. My last day is the 27th! Thanks for barely giving me 2 weeks’ notice!

When I originally started this blog, I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to blog about work or not. Part of me wants to steer away from talking about my work life, but the other part of me asks why? Perhaps I’ll just talk about it here and there and not mention details.

I digress. As you might imagine, I’m pretty frustrated with the entire situation. Luckily, last year I started looking for a different job for many different reasons. Not getting paid enough, no room for growth, not wanting to go into this industry, and etc. I landed a job with a marketing company in town and I started working there in January. I’ve been working 20 hours a week at both jobs since then and that was the plan for awhile. My new boss and I were planning to eventually up my hours and make me fulltime, but only once he could justify the need and once my position started paying for itself.

As a consequence of my old boss retiring, I’ve had to approach my new boss about moving me to fulltime and whether or not it’s going to happen right away. I told him that I can’t afford to not have fulltime income. When we first talked he said that we need to get me working on more billable projects, in order to justify upping my hours, which is totally understandable. So we set a date to talk about it and today was that day.

He’s had a crazy week this week, he was gone all week (although working remotely), but he lost a whole day’s worth of work because his internet wasn’t working. When we met today, he said that he’s going to be working all weekend and that by Monday he’ll have a better idea about upping my hours. He really couldn’t give me a definitive answer or guarantee anything at this point, which is really disappointing, but at least he’s honest with me.

We actually had a nice talk about my degree. I was sort of frustrated that he couldn’t give me a definitive answer and I started ranting about my degree and how no one cares about education in this town. I wasn’t saying that he was one of those people at all, I’m just frustrated that I’m about to graduate with my Bachelor’s and I can’t get a job paying anything worth a damn. It’s this town really, as I’ve mentioned in one of my previous blogs. The people who make a decent living in this town are either doctors/lawyers/dentists or they work for a big box company. My mom has no college education and barely graduated high school, but she makes $20/hour at Costco, but the trade off for that is that she busts her ass and her job is physically draining.

Anyway, when I was venting about my degree, my boss said, “Well it does matter to us. And the beauty in working for a company like ours is that you have a lot more potential for growth. If you work for one of those companies you’re just going to do your same job and get your same raise every year or every quarter or whenever. But here you have so much more room to grow and potential to really prove yourself and show that you’re an asset to the company and make a difference.” It was so awesome for him to say that and it really gave me hope.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that I’ll be put to fulltime right after I lose my other job. All I can really do is wait and see though. I’ve sent some resumes out, but most employers aren’t willing to work with a school schedule, which is disappointing, but understandable from a business aspect. This new job has so much potential and maybe it will even end up being a job that I can eventually do remotely, which would be completely ideal for me since we want to move to Alaska and also because I want to be a stay at home mom.

Who knows? Only time will tell. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Valentine's Day

February 15, 2009 at 12:15 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Our Valentine’s Day was pretty mellow and low-key, which was nice. Although it was a pretty stressful day for J. He has class every weekend this month in Weed and we had a storm roll in over the past few days. Which means tons of rain here, but in Mount Shasta and Weed it means tons of SNOW! Here’s a pic he sent me when he was on his way up to Weed in the morning.

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Well on his way back down, the roads had gotten crazy and the truckers made it even worse. He left school at 4:30 and didn’t get home until about 10:15 last night. Needless to say he was quite stressed from his day, but thankful to finally be home.

I spent the day cleaning the house, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking our yummy dinner and dessert. I made Spaghetti Bolognese for dinner, with some store bought garlic bread.

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And for dessert I made these yummy Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Icing. Check out the crazy red batter and my super cute cupcakes I made.

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Once J finally made it home, we had a nice dinner, watched the rest of a movie we had started the night before, ate some yummy cupcakes, and then we settled in for the night. Then this morning, we found out his class was cancelled so now he actually has a real day off, not to mention a day off we can spend together. I’m sure we’ll probably end up lying around doing nothing all day, which is perfectly fine with me.

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Birthday Trip to Weed

February 12, 2009 at 12:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

So this last weekend we took a trip to Weed for two reasons: 1) It was my birthday! and 2) J has his First Responder class up there every weekend for the next month. Also, it was just a good excuse to take a little mini-vacay trip since we haven’t had the chance (or the $$) to in so long.

The drive was pretty typical, although there’s pretty much NO snow up there right now, which is very atypical for this time of year. But nonetheless we arrived in one piece. Oh and did I mention we took BOTH dogs? Yea, you can save all the comments about how crazy I am for packing our two dogs into my little corolla.

The dogs were actually pretty good, once Brody gets over his initial excitement/anxiousness over being in the car he chills out and enjoys the scenery.  Sadie hates being stuck in the back, she much prefers the back of J’s truck, but my car gets such good gas mileage that it was an easy choice. Brody has taken to this new thing where when we get on the freeway and start driving fast, he hops into the back and lays on the floor behind our seats. I guess being a dachshund he prefers the den-like feeling maybe, who knows.

We stayed in a Motel 6, which of course is not preferable, but in this economic climate one really has no choice. Plus, they let you have pets and don’t charge you a fee, which is pretty unheard of these days. There was a pretty awesome view of Mount Shasta from the street in front of our hotel.

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Overall the trip was really nice and it was great to get away even for the short period of time that it was. On my birthday we decided to drive up to Mount Shasta on a whim. There really is a serious lack of snow in that parts, which is so odd considering it’s February, but I can’t say I’m surprised considering it’s rained all of maybe 3 days over the past few months. We’re in a serious drought here, Shasta Lake is literally a puddle and the town of Lakehead has NO LAKE! I suggested to J that they need to figure out a new name because that’s false advertising.

I digress, this was Brody’s first time in the snow and as you can guess it was pretty damn hilarious. He didn’t know what to think at first, he walked as if he were on a bed of hot coals, picking up his feet and hoping around.

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Although he does the same thing when it’s raining and he goes outside to pee, I would too if my belly was only 3 inches off the ground. After running around, checking out the snow for awhile, he ran back to me and I put him in the backseat of the car so he could warm up. How freaking cute is he??

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Sadie of course LOVES the snow with every ounce of her being. She loves to run in it, eat it, chase snowballs, all of that and then some. Once we finally move to Alaska, I can already see she’s going to be in hog heaven.

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My birthday was a pretty good day. It was a very relaxing, no frills type of birthday and that’s just how I like them. After taking Sadie back to the motel, we headed into Yreka for dinner. We ended up eating at Black Bear Diner since there aren’t very many options in Yreka. Our food was decent, but nothing special of course. Then we went back to the hotel and settled in for the night.

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When I came to work on Monday my boss asked me if I feel any different and I said nope. Once you pass 21, all the birthdays are pretty much just another day. It is going to be weird when someone asks me how old I am and I say 24, especially considering most people think I’m 17, which I guess will be a good thing once I’m even older.

The Letter N

February 11, 2009 at 10:07 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Thanks to Ms. Sizzle I have been assigned the letter N.

So here is my list of 10 things I love starting with the letter N.  

1. Naps –

I love me a good nap, yessirree! So many people I know say they can’t take naps and they think I’m crazy for napping, but I LOVE a good nap. Although I hate when I’m woken up when I really don’t want to be or worse when I wake up and feel even worse than before the nap, but nonetheless naps are WONDERFUL! (although I am a general lover of all things that include sleep)

2. Nabisco

Thank you Nabisco for making some damn yummy treats. I love most things they make, some of which include Oreos, Teddy Grahams, Wheat Thins, Ritz Crackers, Chips Ahoy, and the list goes on and on. They even have a list of N’s themselves: Newtons, Nilla Wafers, and Nutter Butters.

3. Ninja Turtles

Of the teenage mutant variety. I was such a tomboy growing up and loved the ninja turtles. I had some of the figurines, all of the cartoon VHS tapes, and I watched the real (and by real I mean men in turtle suits) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles over and over driving everyone around me crazy.

4. Nookie –

At the risk of being as incredibly lame as Fred Durst, I have to admit that nothing beats some good old fashion nookie. –in our house it’s referred to as lovin J–

5. New –

I love anything new. Whether it’s a new car, a new book to read, new shoes, new clothes, new makeup, and even new blogs to read!! Yay! I’m definitely in love with that “new” feeling, but as we all know that feeling of “newness” wears of quick and having the mild case of ADD that I do, then I’m off to find the next new thing.

6. Natural –

I love being in my natural state. What I mean is, I have the best time with Lovie when we’re out fishing or camping or even just on a Sunday drive and I have no makeup on, my hair pulled back, and a baseball cap on. He’s always told me that he loves it when I don’t wear makeup and I constantly hear the complaints of “I don’t know why you put all that crap on.” When I’m getting ready and putting my makeup on.

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7. Natalie Portman –

She’s an amazing actress. My favorite movies that she’s been in are Beautiful Girls, Anywhere But Here, Where the Heart Is, the Star Wars Trilogy, Cold Mountain, Closer, Garden State, and V for Vendetta. I especially love watching her during interviews, she’s just so genuine and she has an awesome laugh.

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8. Notebook

So this may be cheating since it’s technically called The Notebook, but it’s one of my favorite movies so I’m listing it. J Which leads me to number 9…

9. Nicholas Sparks

I know they’re sappy romance books, but I’m hooked on them. As you know from my blog Summer Goals, I read three of his books over the summer and I can’t wait to read more. Whenever I go to the library to get one of his books that I haven’t read they’re usually checked out, which just goes to show that I’m not the only one hooked on his books.

10. Nestle

Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm….I love me anything nestle related. Tollhouse cookies are probably at the top of my list. Did you know that Nestle owns Haagen-Dazs and Dreyer’s? Oh and they make Coffee Mate creamers, which are a must-have for my coffee fix.  

****If you want to make a list of your own, leave a comment on this post and I’ll assign you a letter. Then write about 10 things you love that begin with your assigned letter and post them to your blog. Then when people comment on your list you can continue the process.****

Graduate School

February 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Lately, I’ve been debating graduate school. I go back and forth on this subject almost daily. If I could have any job, I would want to be a School Counselor. Through the years I’ve teeter tottered and thought of all sorts of different jobs I might want to do, but I ALWAYS seem to come back to the field of Psychology/Counseling and specifically to the career of School Counselor.

It’s hard for me to decide because it’s always been very important to me to be a stay at home mom. My mom wasn’t around when I was younger because she was out making a living in order to support the two of us. So, in all due respect to my mother, I virtually raised myself and spent most of my time alone. Thus, my extreme desire for being a stay home mom was born.

That’s not to say that there aren’t many women out there that can both have a successful career and fully participate in their children’s lives because they’re absolutely are and hey, that may end up being the scenario for me. But as of right now, my first priority when it comes to my future family is to be able to stay home with them for, at the very least, the first few years of their lives.

After many hours of debating and overanalyzing (my all encompassing past time), I’ve decided that, for now, it’s best for me (and for us) to put the idea of graduate school on the back burner. It’s more important for us to get our debts paid down and have better financial footing in order to be able to start our lives together.

Why is it that we, as women, feel that constant tug-o-war between the various roles we take on within our lifetime? Am I the only one who struggles with this? Surely not! At least I hope I’m not alone in this.

The End of an Era

February 6, 2009 at 4:07 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

For the past 7 years, I’ve been in college. Yes, that’s right 7 years! (For those of you trying to do the math I started college when I was a senior in high school through the College Connections program.)

This May, (May 24th to be exact) I will graduate with my Bachelor’s in Business Administration with a concentration in Entrepreneurship and Small Business Management. I know, it’s quite a mouthful right?

Lately I’ve been pondering the age old question, “Where do I go from here?” One generally asks them self this question when they’ve come to a sort of crossroad in life: after a breakup, when someone close to them dies, and so on and so forth.

Asking myself this question has brought up a BAZILLION other questions, which of course are floating around (crashing around is probably a better phrase) inside of my head and those questions breed and give birth to a whole new generation of questions of course.

Now, perhaps if I lived in a “college town” there would be a lot more options for me, but seeing as though I live in a town that doesn’t give a flying you know what if you have a degree there are virtually NO options for someone with a degree. Yes, my degree will look good on a resume and possibly make a better impression than someone without a degree, but again in this town it is very rare for an employer to value higher education.

Since we are fully intending to move to Alaska one day, (given recent events, potentially one day SOON, fingers crossed) the town in which I live is irrelevant to my future job options, but it’s the question of what to do in the meantime that’s puzzling me.

This is like the end of an era. An era of sitting in boring class after boring class. If I had actually chosen a degree that interested me, maybe I wouldn’t have been so bored in class. Of course when I chose my degree, my full intentions were to potentially open my own business one day, but after seeing, first hand, the responsibilities of running your own business, I know that it’s not for me, at least not right now. That’s not to say that I haven’t gained a TON of knowledge from my degree, but in this town all of that knowledge isn’t really applicable.

It’s a nerve-racking, yet completely exciting time because there are SOOO many possibilities laid before me. Only time will tell and I have complete faith that everything will happen exactly as it’s supposed to, but being the famously impatient me, I want to know what’s going to happen RIGHT NOW! I’m such a planner it makes me sick, but of course the old cliché “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans” rings true throughout my entire life journey.

Accountability

February 6, 2009 at 2:03 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Has someone ever given you a form of criticizim that was intended as a negative thing or even as an insult, but in reality you thought to yourself “I love that about myself!” or “Is that a bad thing?”.

A few months ago, I was talking to someone from my past and they said to me, “You really just hold people too accountable for their actions.” 

This statement of course flabgergasted me because isn’t that the foundation of any relationship? That you hold not only the other person accountable for their actions, but you too are responsible for your own actions.

The point that this person was trying to get at (I’m guessing here) was that I am not forgiving when someone messes up or makes a mistake. On the contrary, I am a very forgiving person. So much so that it has been to my detriment in the past. But I’m done with being that person. That is not to say that I am not a forgiving person anymore, I am just more careful with who I give my trust to.

It was so surprising to me to hear that said about me as if it was a bad thing because I think it’s a very good attribute to have. I also think that we should be able to hold each other accountable for our actions and that people should take responsibility for their actions because if not what kind of world would this be?

So YES! perhaps I hold people accountable for their actions. Damn straight!

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